The Past 40 Days

I’m tempted to say life is great, because I’m conditioned to a certain extent although I do my best to be a contrarian in my daily interactions with people around church.  However, most times if I’m not “doing great” it just sends people in overdrive of looking for an exit strategy.  Overall life isn’t bad, but hasn’t been the greatest.

• Grad school is in push mode right now as a fight to find motivation in my research class…all masters program have the “research” course, but it is truly arbitrary in most cases…this will be my least favorite class when all is said and done.
• Youth ministry is going okay.  We have been holding steady with our numbers, but am worried about some cliques affecting our modest group of 20 senior high students.  
• I’m really frustrated with my church currently…we are really struggling with keeping focused and developing a vision for ministry to strive towards…we are getting trapped in being too busy with “stuff”.
• Meredith’s 1st grade class is crazy…she has 27 kids and 20 are boys…we are officially in survival mode and February just began.
• Meredith and I have had some really good time together this past month with our free time…we have been a happy couple!

Christmas break was very stressful.  I was reminded of what it is like to live with an alcoholic father with harsh words.  I can’t stand the way he puts down my mom, makes comments to my sisters about their appearance, and discredits any idea other than his own.  I feel horrible that my mom (who is kind and gentle to the core) has to endure this daily…hopefully the Lord has an amazing award for her.  Now that I work with teenage girls, I’m incredibly aware of the impact the words of men have upon them.  Needless to say, he and I didn’t get along very well.  The restoration process of a father/son relationship definitely regressed.  We haven’t spoken since December 30th.

Grandness Straight Ahead

Bring it, summer!

I’m better prepared for summer this year than I ever before.  Youth trips planned…check.  Transportation for youth…check.  Personal vacation…double check.

I’m really excited for this summer.  We are taking our largest group ever to junior high camp and it’s just a great group of kids who love being together and having a great time.  We leave next Sunday and return 5 days later.  Many times we can learn a lot about the kids we work with by spending some time with their parents.  Well if this holds, true I’m really looking forward to working with this group considering nearly every parent I asked jumped at the chance to help drive…one who could because of a medical issue even offered to pay for gas!  There are good years ahead here.

3 days after our return to Yuma, we (Meredith and I) will be hitting the road.  We are going to Napa Valley for a friend’s wedding/vacation with parents with stops along the way to see two great friends from our past.  We will also get to visit the camp that I worked at for a summer during college.  It will be great to rekindle some old memories from the Santa Cruz area.  A trip to the Bay Area is always great…this is one of our favorite spots in the country.  There are so many different cultures, artists, and historical sites.  And most importantly, there is a plethora of fantastic food!  (Yeah, I’m a food snob)

Upon our second arrival back in Yuma in less than 2 weeks, we will turn around and depart the following morning for seperate destinations.  I’m headed to Washington on my way with a group of senior high students for our annual Canada Mission Trip.  Meredith is headed to St. Louis and eventually Chicago to see her family and her best friend since childhood.  Exactly 2 weeks later, we will rendezvous at no other than PHX Sky Harbor (baggage system from hell) Airport.

By that point it will be August 22nd and school is just a few weeks away!

Great Weekend

I have great appreciation for all the veterans of our country who have defended this great land and fought for the freedoms of others around the world.  My father and grandfather are both former Midshipmen and they deserve the day away from work that is afforded with Memorial Day.

If we can be honest here, most years I’m most consumed with the fact that I get the day off rather than celebrating the men of our military.  For instance, yesterday Meredith and I went golfing in the morning, took naps in the afternoon and grilled during the evening with friends.  BTW, the temperature was in the mid-80’s (which is a treat this late into the spring) and we soaked it up.  I didn’t even think about the meaning of the day until this morning.

Beyond my lack of reflection on the holiday, I was delighted to have a quiet weekend aside my wife with no youth events aside from teaching Sunday school.  It was just what we needed heading into the final stretch of the school year with exhaustion, fatigue, and apathy making headway to the forefront.  Thank God for holidays!

Unforgettable Youth Ministry Moments

I left the office early yesterday afternoon after our weekly staff meeting to head home for some rest as I had woken up at 1:37am the previous night with an unquenchable sore throat and felt exhausted when David Crowder’s “Remedy” (the song set to my alarm on my phone) started playing at 7:00am.  After 6 hours in the office lacking productivity, I realized I could accomplish even more if I was at home in the recliner passing out intermittently during the early Sportscenter (du-nuh-nuh, du-nuh-nuh).  Following my inclinations I found myself in my living room drowsy and hopped up on Clariton and nasal spray.

During one of my intermittent dozes as noted previously, my phone started vibrating and singing Linkin Park’s “Shadow of the Day” (BTW, my affinity for this song makes me feel like the prime target of those cheesy mix stations playing the best of the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s that I loathed in my earlier years).  It was 4:33pm and one of my youth leaders asked how I was feeling.  I told her I’d experienced better shades of livelihood and asked the question “What’s up?”.  She preceded to share with me that one of our students had been in a car accident that look quite terrible after school.  I thanked her for thinking of me, kissed my wife, and headed to the hospital.

The drive was only about 5 minutes and filled more intensely with prayer than erstwhile logged.  Terrifying thoughts ran through my mind as I thought of the possibilities of how this accident had impacted this student.  Were they seriously injured?  Shaken up?  Bruised?  Or God forbid dead?  It was too much to bear as this student is one that I’m very close with and spent countless hours listening, talking, praying, encouraging, mentoring, and all the other things youth ministers do.  God has worked so miraculously in this student’s life so far, it wouldn’t make sense for anything so detrimental to find its way into their life.

I arrived in the waiting room of the emergency room to a group of 6 other students and parents where the mood was quite somber.  After exchanging hugs and handshakes, I asked the obvious question which was most difficult to say.  I asked in a soft murmured voice to one of my guys, “How is she?”  He responded “They are both okay and in good condition.”  I was shocked to learn that there were 2 other people in the car, one a friend, one her younger sister.  I was so thankful and grateful for their safety and couldn’t wait to see them.

After a few minutes, I went back to see the girls.  I saw the sister first and it was great to see a smile on their face.  After the first exchanges of asking about their condition, she asked about my day.  I was so relieved to see there were no injuries beyond the a few minor scrapes and bruises.  I prayed with her, gave a hug, and told her “I love you”.

After 10 minutes with the sister, I went to see the girl I initially heard was in the accident.  I was greeted with a great familiar smile and a hug.  She said she felt fine, but was really shaken up mentally and emotionally.  One of the things I love about this girl is how she thinks of others before herself.  Here she was in a hospital bed telling me that when it happened all she could do was pray for her sister and her friend in the truck next to her.  Hearing this from a relatively new driver makes me love what I do.  We talked, prayed, and shed some tears over the next 15 minutes before I left her to the care of the nurses and doctors.

I love these 2 girls deeply and would do anything for them at a moment’s notice.  I love their family and am so grateful for the opportunity that God has given me to be a part of his plan in their lives.  What is interesting about this whole train of events is that I felt fine from the moment I left the house to moment I returned.  While these girls are amazing and I care for them dearly, he truth is that I have about 50 junior and senior high students I would do the same for in a heartbeat.

After a few hours at the ER, I decided that it would be best for me to go home as it was certain they would be released that evening.  I got a couple burritos from a local taco shop and returned to my sickness.  This morning I feel 110% better (ala Ferris Bueller) after 10 hours of sleep on the couch of all places (Meredith doesn’t want my sickness).

Good Night

Tonight’s list of events and happenings reads like that of an old man.  After a lackadaisical soccer practice with the girls this afternoon, I ran into one of my students while still in my practice garbs only be informed that I looked like an old man in shorts.  I asked for a clarification and she promptly compared that seeing me in shorts was akin to seeing our senior pastor.  This was a first and yet another indicator that I am definitely not young and hip.

After such an unusual compliment if you will, Meredith and I took in a concert performed by the choir from Concordia University – Irvine.  The concert was excellent and they had a wonderful rendition of “Were You There When They Crucified My Lord”.  We were also able to see a couple friends that were traveling with the choir in one form or another.  Even more, a student that I’ve invested a lot of effort in wanted to sit with Meredith and I during the concert.  He’s the average teenage boy that’s a little much on the immature side and isn’t quite socially adjusted and it’s just terrific!  Reason number 523 why I love youth ministry.

10 Best Meals Ever

One of my favorite things to do in my free time is cook, which in turn means I also enjoy eating that some may describe me as a connoisseur.  Here are the 10 best meals I have ever eaten with explanation.

1. Napa Rose (Anaheim, CA)- Located in the Grand Californian Hotel at Disneyland, it doesn’t seem like the abode of fine dining.  Meredith and I enjoyed a quiet meal here over our vacation last summer.  The service was perfectly timed and granted our every request.  The lamb was succulent and equisitely matched with a pinot noir the waiter recommended.  Not only was it a memorable experience, but unknowns to us my parents had called ahead and treated us to the meal as a birthday gift.
2. Brennan’s (Houston, TX)- Over the Christmas break a few years ago, Meredith and I went with my parents to this incredible restaurant.  Everything was immaculate and the service was delightful.  Excellent food combined with an extensive wine list topped off with a table-side cooked bananas foster (quite possibly the best classic dessert in Creole cooking).
3. Rissa’s (Houston, TX) – This place isn’t in business anymore, but it was the setting of a celebration of our engagement with my family.  The filet’s were cooked to perfection and everyone left happy about multiple things that evening (one being the food).
4. Bouchon (Las Vegas, NV)- We had a great meal here on vacation a few years ago.  The Thomas Keller owned restaurant rests on his trademark French Napa Valley-infused cuisine.  Perhaps the most memorable part of this feast was our appetizer of a cured salmon tar tar…simply divine.
5. 1111 Mississippi (St. Louis, MO)- Located in the historical Lafayette Park section of town, this place is at the epicenter of the revitalization of the area.  More great wine country cuisine.  The atmosphere is laid back, yet distinguished.  I had a great seafood risotto dish accompanied by a nice chardonnay.
6. Roppongi (La Jolla, CA) – We ate here a few months ago when we ventured to San Diego for a weekend.  Excellent food with great service.  Our main courses were good, but our favorite part of the evening was the Polynesian Crab Stack that served as our appetizer. 
7. The Salt Lick (Driftwood, TX) – It’s all about grills and meat at this Texas landmark.  Along with my family, Meredith and I journeyed 30 minutes outside of Austin with a cooler packed with beer.  They have no liquor license so it is BYOB in this smokehouse filled with picnic tables.  Few things are better in life than a plate of brisket, sausage, and ribs washed down with a cold beer…and at the Salt Lick, it’s just a little better.
8. Los Cucos (Houston, TX)- I’ve eaten here at least a dozen times over the years and have never had a bad meal.  The menu is gargantuan, but the stars are the fajitas.  They also make a fine margarita.  Favorite Mexican place in Houston.  Unfortunately, they are building new locations throughout Texas and I’m not sure if the quality has been maintained.
9. RA Sushi (Tempe, AZ) – There are many different locations for this chain of sushi bars, but this is my favorite.  With rock music pumping through the sound system and unique design, this is a one-of-a-kind sushi experience.  They are always busy so the fish is very fresh and the staff is always kind.  They also have an incredible happy hour menu that extends till 7:00pm Monday – Friday.
10. The Fish Market (San Diego, CA) – Great seafood in a casual environment.  They have a new menu everyday reflecting the morning catch by local fisherman.  The quality of food is only matched by the view of the sun setting over San Diego harbor.

Respect

A common topic amongst my students is respect.  Respecting adults, yourself, and peers is a consistent command they hear most every day.  Respect is also the one thing that all of them desire and agree is worth fighting for (in some form or fashion).  This is evident in the name-calling, dirty looks, and verbal sparing that are mainstays of youth culture.  This is where the mantra of “respect me, I’ll respect you” rules the day.

I remember this landscape and my efforts to navigate it effectively as a teenager.  In some ways, I feel like I’ve never really left that place.  As a 26 year-old, I’m still seeking the respect that I longed for as an adolescent.  It feels juvenile and negating of my college commencement to have those same desires for respect, but it’s honest.

A few years ago an excellent book was released by Chap Clark called Hurt.  It became a must read for anyone working with students and documented his experience as a teacher for 2 years at a public high school in the greater Los Angeles area.  Through his ongoing conversations with students, the book shared how teenagers have been abandoned by adults today.  I cheered this study and was excited that such an honest albeit morbid look at teenagers was out there for the public to devour.

As I’ve become an adult I realize that the hurt exists on both sides of the adult/teenager relationship.  The disrespect isn’t any easier to deal with as an adult.  In fact, I think it’s more difficult because you can’t just turn you back and walk away.  You have to be “mature” by working out the issues and being a good example.  In no way do I want to relive my teenager years, but I think it’s fair to say that the problem of sin and pain still affect adults.

One of the most difficult charges for me in the Bible comes from 2 Corinthians 5 where Paul is instructing the people that they need to be about reconciliation.  In a nation where the most commonly cited reason for divorce is “irreconcilable differences”, reconciliation is in definite need.  Reconcile is a word that makes you cringe at times because there are no shortcuts to task.  This isn’t just forgiving people, it’s restoring them.  It’s easy to forgive and walk away, but there is no walking away from reconciliation.  It requires your time, effort, and presence.

And while there are some people that I long to reconcile with because I care about them, there are some that I want nothing more to do with.  The damage caused by these people certainly hasn’t healed in me and I’m not about to allow it to happen again.  When I read Paul’s words, I know he isn’t talking about the people with whom I want to strengthen my relationships.  It’s the people whose presence I loath and voice that recants terrible memories.  After all, these are the people that really need the reconciliation in the realm of my heart.  It’s not the other people with whom I haven’t intentionally severed my ties.

The unearned grace that God bestows on me is the same that covers the person that I want to condemn.  And Jesus’ commands to love one another grit against the waves of sinful hatred that exist in my broken soul.  Yet it is only by the resurrection of Christ that I become an new creation that in spite of my brokenness can be healed.  And in the midst of my pain and suffering, I am called to forgive and restore that person with nothing to gain for myself.  The old has gone, the new has come!

The “respect me, I’ll respect you” attitude that has followed us into adulthood is a losing and miserable way to live.  Instead, our attitude should be one of “I’ll respect you”.  Sometimes I can irritated quite easily.  I can’t count how many times I’ve felt disrespected.  But it’s to no avail, because it’s when I’m lead to reconciliation and remember the miracle of being a new creation that I exit such misery and experience a small slice of life the way God intended.