The Past 40 Days

I’m tempted to say life is great, because I’m conditioned to a certain extent although I do my best to be a contrarian in my daily interactions with people around church.  However, most times if I’m not “doing great” it just sends people in overdrive of looking for an exit strategy.  Overall life isn’t bad, but hasn’t been the greatest.

• Grad school is in push mode right now as a fight to find motivation in my research class…all masters program have the “research” course, but it is truly arbitrary in most cases…this will be my least favorite class when all is said and done.
• Youth ministry is going okay.  We have been holding steady with our numbers, but am worried about some cliques affecting our modest group of 20 senior high students.  
• I’m really frustrated with my church currently…we are really struggling with keeping focused and developing a vision for ministry to strive towards…we are getting trapped in being too busy with “stuff”.
• Meredith’s 1st grade class is crazy…she has 27 kids and 20 are boys…we are officially in survival mode and February just began.
• Meredith and I have had some really good time together this past month with our free time…we have been a happy couple!

Christmas break was very stressful.  I was reminded of what it is like to live with an alcoholic father with harsh words.  I can’t stand the way he puts down my mom, makes comments to my sisters about their appearance, and discredits any idea other than his own.  I feel horrible that my mom (who is kind and gentle to the core) has to endure this daily…hopefully the Lord has an amazing award for her.  Now that I work with teenage girls, I’m incredibly aware of the impact the words of men have upon them.  Needless to say, he and I didn’t get along very well.  The restoration process of a father/son relationship definitely regressed.  We haven’t spoken since December 30th.

Graduate School is Killing This Blogging Prodigy

My blogging time has been significantly reduced by a combination of starting graduate school (which has sucked my time at home on the comp) and the increased workload of the school year (which has sucked my time at work on the comp..not that I would blog at work).

But mostly grad school is taking over my life, but it will not overcome my marriage…Meredith will pull the proverbial “stop payment” plug before it ever begins to interfere with “date night”.

Initiating Blogosphere Re-Entry

I ended my prior installment by acknowledging my excursion from e-land into a reality that existed entirely of human beings in bodily form and those embedded in my cell phone’s contact list.  Honestly, I have really enjoyed this period as my relationships with folks in my community have flourished.  At the same time, I’ve lost touch with friends from college that I keep in touch with via blogging and Facebook.

After traveling for 4 weeks consisting of the end of June and the majority of July, it took some time to adjust back to living with a wife in an apartment.  Now that we have been back for 3 weeks, Meredith and I have readjusted to our existence as husband and wife.  We have had some great time together and a couple great day excursions.  She goes back to teaching on Wednesday and I will miss the joy of being able to eat lunch together most days.

Now my focus has been directed to 3 things: getting prepared for the fast-approaching year of youth ministry, getting prepared to start graduate school on September 2nd (and figuring our how to pay for it), and being sucked into the Olympics every evening.

Speaking of the Olympics, I’m going to have my thoughts from the evening broadcast included every day.  I flabbergasted that I am so engrossed and intrigued by the Olympics.  Never in my life have I been such a fan of the games…yet another sign of getting older…I still can’t believe I’m 27!!!

Olympic Musings

- Swimming is all about records…almost every final features a new Olympic or world record.  Perhaps they measured that pool in yards instead of meters.

- Michael Phelps eats alot!!!

- Phelps contingency of gold medals is impressive, but I’m not sure there is a more dominant US team than Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh (and her black-taped shoulder) in beach volleyball.  They just annihilate everyone they face.  And it doesn’t hurt that they are easy on the eyes.

- Mary Carillo just revealed that there is a 7′9″ China-man and China is also home to the world’s largest bathroom.

- Move over football.  Men gymnists are the new athletic freaks!

1 Week Down, 3 To Go…

In youth ministry, every trip has a certain appeal.  The Canada mission trip next week is going to be quite strenuous and equally rewarding.  NYG is exhausting and ridiculously expensive.  All overnighters are straight from hell.  And Junior High Camp in Colorado is FUN!!!

It’s bittersweet to be sitting on the floor in our living room (somewhat ridiculous in itself that I still don’t always use the furniture), but I’m not yet ready to get camp out of my system…hence waking up at my conditioned 6:00am to get a warm shower turned into blogging as the sun pours through the blinds.  Today, I miss Colorado.  I don’t walk out to a brisk sunrise over the evergreen and red rock covered mountains.  Instead, I’ve got a window with a bush and an oak tree.

The scenery is spectacular at the Circle K Ranch outside of Delores, Colorado where we have held our camp for the past 30 years.  In this serene valley which has non cellular reception, it’s easy to be aware of the God of the universe.  Like every year, there are certain themes that protrude and happenings that occur to make each year memorable.  Here’s the rundown:

• “I wanna go home…I don’t wanna leave” syndrome – Homesickness seemed to be rampant among our incoming 7th grade girls through Tuesday.  They all wanted to go home and pulled a 180 by Thursday morning.  I learned a lot about their families this week.
• Boundaries honored – This group of 19 was the most enjoyable group I have ever taken anywhere.  They respected the boundaries set and backed off when they crossed. 
• Meredith the youth counselor - Against her strongest efforts, Meredith has become a youth leader.  The girls love her and always look to her for help, advice, and encouragement.  She is their number one!
• “We want sleep”- Our kids didn’t just go to bed on time, they were begging to go to bed 30 minutes before lights out.  It gets even stranger when you consider they every bunkhouse in the entire camp followed suit.  Weird, huh?
• Medics and Biffers - Any game that allows counselors to hit kids withsocks filled with flour is awesome!  It feels like a ridiculous “This is Sportscenter” commercial.  “Get up kid…you’re mom signed the waiver!”
• God is always present - Kids praying, forgiving one another, and showing the grace of Christ is one of the greatest sights in all the world.  Just speechless!
• Breakouts are good – Meredith did a breakout about her battles with anorexia and I spoke about pornography.  Combined with 8 others, breakout sessions were definitely a high point of learning for students as we discussed some very relevant and somewhat uncomfortable topics.
• Counselors always have the most fun! – One of the reason I love this camp is so enjoyable is that I get to work alongside my friends for a week doing what we all love.  Ministry is even better when done alongside friends.

TMZ Churchworkers

Working in the church adds new oddities to your life.

Today the church is blessed with an abundance of written and electonic communication (some of which is quite useful).  There are books widely available to the public on every conceivable topic.  Websites and blogs dedicated to the betterment of the Body of Christ.  And of course, conferences for everything!  Personally, I can’t keep up with everything and don’t have the time or desire to dedicate.

Have you ever been at a ministry conference and been talking to a colleague that can’t answer simple questions about their own ministry beyond their running numbers, but can tell you everything about Saddleback, Willow Creek, Northpointe, Lakewood, Mars Hill, (insert mega-church of choice here), etc?  How often does your discussion center around what other churches are doing and becoming without taking a serious and honest look at your our church?  Both of these situations have happened to me and both lead me to cringe.

The connectivity and networking available to us today has some great benefits and allows us endless amounts of information and data at our disposal.  That is geat!  But it also gives us access to information that breeds envy, slander, jealousy, and contempt.  Who of us hasn’t been jealous that someone else’s group is growing while our group holds in stagnation?  Who hasn’t frequented the website of another youth ministry just to see what they are doing?  Have you ever been pissed off at God because the place you’re at and the people that surround you aren’t focused on Christ as you desire?  Or designated some churches as the best places to be while ignoring the call God has given you to serve at the place you are right now?  What about envying a younger worker because they get to work with staff that you like better than the one you work with everyday?  Ever been more interested in another church’s ministries than your own?

I know I could answer “yes” to every one of those question at some point in my ministry career.  It pathetically sinful and embarassing.  I have to continually remind myself that God has called me here to preach his “good news” to these people at this place at this time.

I’m reminded of this when I look at the epistles that Paul wrote to the different churches.  Each of the letters while proclaiming the basic truths of scripture and Christ, also speaks to the issues of each congregation.  It reminds me of how there is a struggle with sin everywhere.  It reminds me that we are all united in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  It also brings my focus back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit’s work in the people surrounding me right now and reminds me that my focus needs to be in line with my location.

It’s so easy to be more interested in the ministries of other churchworkers.  I think this is true because it allows me the ability to avoid shining the light on myself and exposing the brokenness that is in my midst and my own ministry.  It encourages me to be lazy and ignore the call to serve.

In Colossians, Paul instructs the people to set their eyes on higher things.  To be united in the power of the gospel and focused on the unique call we have received to serve.  May we continue to have more fervor for our calling to ministry rather than the ministry of others as sin continues to manifest itself in all our advances in communications and technologies.

 

Numerical Satisfaction

One of the mantras of youth ministry is to avoid the numbers game.  I generally do a good job of placing my focus on the spiritual growth of students, but it’s hard to ignore such quantitative data.  While numbers aren’t the end all and be all, they many times are quite indicative of the truth.  My ignorance of numbers and statistics are much more intense when I know my groups aren’t growing (numerically, emotionally, and spiritually) as quickly or deeply as I would hope.

Honestly, the numbers game has been a brutal one for me in my first couple years.  If numbers were everything, I would be a miserable failure.  After surviving quite a few challenges from some very opinionated parents and students, I’m in a good place.  Not only have I adapted to the culture of the community I dwell, but they have adapted to my values, standards, and dreams for youth ministry.

In light of churches’ obsession with numbers, it seems the numbers are starting to follow my vision for youth ministry.

• Last year we took 11 students to our junior high summer camp.  This year we have 18 registered.  A 64% increase.
• Junior High Nite (JHN) is steady at 25-30 7th and 8th graders.  Next year, we are planning for 35-40 with larger class sizes in our school.  A 40% increase.
• Our Senior High group consists of 8 freshmen and sophomores.  Next year we will have 15-20.  Over a 100% increase.

These numbers aren’t everything and they certainly won’t be the force behind the continued growth of our youth ministry, but they are encouraging.  In the lonely world of youth ministry, such encouragement and hope is all we need to keep on going.  And that’s where I find myself today…satisfied with the hope for next year and beyond.

Unforgettable Youth Ministry Moments

I left the office early yesterday afternoon after our weekly staff meeting to head home for some rest as I had woken up at 1:37am the previous night with an unquenchable sore throat and felt exhausted when David Crowder’s “Remedy” (the song set to my alarm on my phone) started playing at 7:00am.  After 6 hours in the office lacking productivity, I realized I could accomplish even more if I was at home in the recliner passing out intermittently during the early Sportscenter (du-nuh-nuh, du-nuh-nuh).  Following my inclinations I found myself in my living room drowsy and hopped up on Clariton and nasal spray.

During one of my intermittent dozes as noted previously, my phone started vibrating and singing Linkin Park’s “Shadow of the Day” (BTW, my affinity for this song makes me feel like the prime target of those cheesy mix stations playing the best of the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s that I loathed in my earlier years).  It was 4:33pm and one of my youth leaders asked how I was feeling.  I told her I’d experienced better shades of livelihood and asked the question “What’s up?”.  She preceded to share with me that one of our students had been in a car accident that look quite terrible after school.  I thanked her for thinking of me, kissed my wife, and headed to the hospital.

The drive was only about 5 minutes and filled more intensely with prayer than erstwhile logged.  Terrifying thoughts ran through my mind as I thought of the possibilities of how this accident had impacted this student.  Were they seriously injured?  Shaken up?  Bruised?  Or God forbid dead?  It was too much to bear as this student is one that I’m very close with and spent countless hours listening, talking, praying, encouraging, mentoring, and all the other things youth ministers do.  God has worked so miraculously in this student’s life so far, it wouldn’t make sense for anything so detrimental to find its way into their life.

I arrived in the waiting room of the emergency room to a group of 6 other students and parents where the mood was quite somber.  After exchanging hugs and handshakes, I asked the obvious question which was most difficult to say.  I asked in a soft murmured voice to one of my guys, “How is she?”  He responded “They are both okay and in good condition.”  I was shocked to learn that there were 2 other people in the car, one a friend, one her younger sister.  I was so thankful and grateful for their safety and couldn’t wait to see them.

After a few minutes, I went back to see the girls.  I saw the sister first and it was great to see a smile on their face.  After the first exchanges of asking about their condition, she asked about my day.  I was so relieved to see there were no injuries beyond the a few minor scrapes and bruises.  I prayed with her, gave a hug, and told her “I love you”.

After 10 minutes with the sister, I went to see the girl I initially heard was in the accident.  I was greeted with a great familiar smile and a hug.  She said she felt fine, but was really shaken up mentally and emotionally.  One of the things I love about this girl is how she thinks of others before herself.  Here she was in a hospital bed telling me that when it happened all she could do was pray for her sister and her friend in the truck next to her.  Hearing this from a relatively new driver makes me love what I do.  We talked, prayed, and shed some tears over the next 15 minutes before I left her to the care of the nurses and doctors.

I love these 2 girls deeply and would do anything for them at a moment’s notice.  I love their family and am so grateful for the opportunity that God has given me to be a part of his plan in their lives.  What is interesting about this whole train of events is that I felt fine from the moment I left the house to moment I returned.  While these girls are amazing and I care for them dearly, he truth is that I have about 50 junior and senior high students I would do the same for in a heartbeat.

After a few hours at the ER, I decided that it would be best for me to go home as it was certain they would be released that evening.  I got a couple burritos from a local taco shop and returned to my sickness.  This morning I feel 110% better (ala Ferris Bueller) after 10 hours of sleep on the couch of all places (Meredith doesn’t want my sickness).

Easter’s Over!!!

For accountants it’s February through March.  For teachers, it’s April and May.  For the unfortunate souls that work in retail, the most wonderful time of the year, December, is the most dreaded.  Many professions have a time of the year that is busier than others.  A period where personal lives, originality, and deep thinking are exchanged for cruising in constant work mode to avoid falling behind.  These are times that we love because of all the progress and work accomplished and we hate because our relationships and personal lives are sacrificed at the aforementioned alter.

For folks who work in the church, that time of year is Easter and Lent (the 40 days leading up to Easter).  During this stretch, multiple worship services, soup suppers, and youth conferences all converge to make this “that” time of the year.  I love Easter and Lent because of the festivities as we await the ultimate celebration (Easter) of Christ’s death, resurrection, and victory of sin, death, and power of the devil (can you tell I teach confirmation?).

During the same period, my energy dwindles and my time with my wife dissipates as I tend to so-dubbed more “important” matters at work.  My writing becomes mundane and patterned sounding more like a text message than something considered worthwhile reading.  My thoughts go from focused, concise, and provoking to bland, monotonous, and unworthy of filling space.

So with that all behind me now, I can move forward with writing that resembles a soufflé rather than mush.  Hallelujah!  Jesus is risen!  Here’s to great writing and fantastic reading!

A New “First”

This past Wednesday marked a “first” in my life.  A few weeks ago when I was golfing with a fellow youth ministry friend, we got to talking about speaking in front of students.  I told him that I didn’t do it normally because of our setup, but had been having an itch to do more speaking.  Seizing the opportunity of having a week off, he quickly informed me that I could speak at their youth service on a Wednesday we didn’t have small groups.

 As I was preparing my message, he told me that I should expect about 90 to 100 kids to show up which I told him would be easy considering I give chapel messages monthly to the 350 kids at our school.  I had some preliminary thoughts about what I thought God wanted me to say, but basically wrote my script during Wednesday afternoon.  My message focused on accountability: why it’s important?, what it does?, and how it works? 

Without getting too deep into the details of the talk, I found something that I really enjoy and would welcome any opportunities to speak in the future.  It’s good to do something you enjoy and have the chance to share the message you’ve been given.

Youth Ministry Identity Crisis

I am often quoted as proclaiming my love for my profession.  However, I also find myself in crisis at times concerning our identity as a youth ministry given that there is such a short history of the profession.

Unlike other professions, youth ministry seems to be something you learn as you go.  Experience is much more valuable than information and relationships conquer wisdom.  What works in Alaska doesn’t work in Denver and what’s life-changing in Kansas is ignored in Florida.

The single-most frustrating thing about youth ministry is there is no one answer.  You can’t learn it in a book or from a conference.  The only way is to walk side-by-side with people for years until you know what they are made of and what they need to hear.

The journey continues…